


What Dreams Are Made Of

by annieapple24



Category: Glee
Genre: Friendship, M/M, This was supposed to be crack, but turned into a real fic, drag!kurt, gay clubs, only friendship, sebastian and kurt insult each other a lot, sebastian does not have a relationship with blaine or kurt, sebastian is actually a good guy, so many klaine cliches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieapple24/pseuds/annieapple24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian comes to Blaine and Kurt for help. He needs to find a girl to bring with him on a trip to New York City with his parents. After what was meant to be a joke, Kurt finds himself dressed in drag on his way to NYC with his archenemy and his rich, conservative parents. How will he survive this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Dreams Are Made Of

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a crack fic idea after discussing drag!kurt ideas with my friend Kory. It somehow turned into this. It is only Klaine, everything between Sebastian and the boys is purely platonic, but can be pre-Sebklaine if preferred (I do ship it, so I don't mind). Not a gender swap fic. Doesn't discuss gender or gender issues, but some language could be troubling so be warned and be careful (nothing graphic, just minor insults, mostly Seb making fun of Kurt. The usual.)

At first Blaine thought the text was sent to the wrong person. 

 

Sebastian- 8:09 pm  
Lima Bean tomorrow at 9. My treat. Need to talk, it’s an emergency.

 

Why would Sebastian ask to meet him? They hadn’t spoken since Regionals, Blaine even going as far as to delete all his old texts with the boy. Curiously, he typed a message back. 

 

Me- 8:13 pm  
???  
Did you mean to send to me?

 

Sebastian- 8:14 pm  
Yes

 

Me- 8:15 pm  
Why?

 

The boy never responded, and Blaine was left with a million questions racing through his head. He decided to call his boyfriend for advice.

“Kurt?” he said when the boy answered.

“Blaine? Is everything okay? We don’t start our moisturizing ritual for another hour.”

Blaine nodded even though he knew Kurt couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I just got the weirdest text from Sebastian, though.”

Kurt groaned. “Ugh, I thought we were finished with that ugly meerkat. What did he want?”

“He asked me to meet him for coffee tomorrow.”

“What? Why?”

“He never said,” Blaine ran his fingers through his perpetually gelled back hair. “He didn’t text me back when I asked.”

“He’s probably just trying to pull some lame prank,” Kurt snorted.

“He said it was an emergency. Besides, I think he was being honest when he said he changed. What happened with Dave really shook him up. Even if it is a prank it won’t be like what he tried to do to Finn.”

“I still don’t think you should go. I don’t trust him.” 

“I just want to make sure everything is okay,” Blaine admitted.

Kurt sighed. “You are too nice. It’s going to get us both into trouble someday. Let’s just hope it’s not tomorrow. But I’m coming with you.”

Blaine smiled, happy to get his way.

“So I guess while I have you on the phone I’ll tell you what happened at dinner. I couldn’t believe Finn actually did this, so prepare yourself…”

…

The next morning Blaine met Kurt outside the Lima Bean, both boys mentally preparing themselves for what laid ahead. Blaine stoically took the lead, holding the door open for Kurt and following him inside. They both glanced around and didn’t see Sebastian anywhere.

“See, he’s not here. Abercrombie-and-Bitch was just messing with you.”

Blaine glanced around the room with his sad puppy dog eyes one more time before nodding. “Well, I guess we can still hang out here for a bit.” He gestured to the counter.

Kurt smiled and grabbed his hand. “So not a complete loss, then,” he flirted.

Blaine never got the chance to tease him back.

“So you brought Gay Face. Can’t say I’m surprised. But I’m not paying for him.”

Both boys whipped around to find Sebastian standing in front of them, smirking. Blaine could see the coffee and paperback book resting on the table behind him, which they must’ve missed when they walked in.

“Did you hear me ask you to?” Kurt shot back.

Sebastian ignored him and gestured for Blaine to follow him to the counter.

“No, it’s alright,” Blaine said awkwardly, not wanting any more animosity between the boys than necessary. “I’ll buy mine and Kurt’s”

Sebastian just rolled his eyes and sat back down, cracking open his novel to read while he waited.

After purchasing their usual medium drip and nonfat mocha latte, the boys reluctantly sat down beside Sebastian at the table. Sebastian didn’t even bother glancing up as he finished the page he was on. When he finally set the book down, Blaine realized that he recognized the cover.

“Wow, how many times have you read that book, Seb?”

The boy looked down at his battered but obviously well-cared for book.

“A few times,” he answered, sounding bored.

“It’s your favorite, right?”

Kurt looked at his boyfriend in shock, wondering how he knew this information. Sebastian huffed a laugh.

“You okay there, Hummel?”

“I was just stunned that you knew how to read.”

Before Sebastian could retaliate, Blaine cleared his throat loudly to get his attention. “What do you want, Sebastian? You said it was an emergency.”

Taking a sip from his coffee, Sebastian leaned back in his seat to eye the boys carefully. “It is. I have a bit of a problem. And I need you to help me.”

“And why would we do that?” Kurt said haughtily.

“Correction: I need Blaine to help me.”

Kurt crossed his arms and tried not to pout.

“Long story short, my parents and I are going to New York for a week and my father has been dropping me not so subtle hints that I need to bring a girl with me.”

Kurt snorted. “That makes absolutely no sense.”

Blaine gripped his hand underneath the table, a silent plea to shut up and let him talk.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I haven’t come out to my parents yet. And I’d like to keep it that way.”

Surprised, Kurt wanted to ask more but refrained for Blaine’s sake. 

“Anyway, what my dad wants, my dad gets. So I need your help to find a girl I can actually stand to be around for a week to come with me to New York.”

Blaine looked confused. “I still don’t see why you need me to help. Just ask any of the Crawford Country Day girls. I’m sure they’d all die to go with you. Not to mention it’s be easier to find someone your dad approves of there. McKinley is a public school. You really want to take someone I know to impress your parents?”

Sebastian sighed and leaned forward to place his hands on the table, Blaine mirroring the posture. Kurt was now all but excluded from the conversation.

“I thought about it, but the last mixer we had was pure torture. They’re all sniveling, spoiled brats.”

Kurt snorted loudly at the hypocrisy, but both boys continued to ignore him.

“You’re going to hate anyone I find. You hate all the girls in New Directions. I’m sure you don’t want to spend two weeks with Rachel Berry.”  
Sebastian shuddered at the thought. “I’m sure you can think of someone.”

“What about Quinn? She’d be perfect for the job.”

Blaine stared at Kurt like he had grown an extra head.

“What? You have to admit it’s true. She would charm the pants off his parents and would be able to put up with him as long as she got something out of it. An all-expenses paid trip to New York doesn’t sound like something she could turn down.”

Blaine had to agree, but was still confused as to why Kurt was so willing to help all of a sudden.

“Not so fast. I have to make sure I can put up with her too. If you get her or anyone else on board have them meet me here to have a… shall we call it a ‘test-date’?” Sebastian instructed before draining the last dregs of coffee in his cup and standing to throw it in the garbage.

“God what the hell did we just get ourselves into?” Blaine muttered as they watched Sebastian leave the shop.

…

As it turned out, Quinn was not perfect for the job. Nor was any of the other girls Blaine managed to convince to meet up with Sebastian for coffee. As far as Blaine could tell, none of them lasted twenty minutes.

Ten minutes after she had told him she was meeting Sebastian, Blaine received an angry phone call from Quinn. Apparently Sebastian had taken one look at her and said he couldn’t spend an afternoon let alone a whole week with the “psychotic bitch.”

Mercedes and Tina both rejected the idea, though he never actually asked them. 

Brittany and Santana went to meet him together. Brittany had been immediately rejected, but Sebastian had remembered Santana from their Michael Showdown. He actually considered her before realizing it wouldn’t be the best idea to take a Latina girl on a trip with his conservative (read: racist) parents. This admission led to Santana screaming at him in Spanish until he and Brittany were able to get her out of the coffee shop and away from the startled customers and glaring manager.

Sugar was also considered briefly, during their trial-date Sebastian realized their fathers knew each other. His father just so happened to despise Mr. Motta. 

Even the girl from Blaine’s English class, who Kurt claimed only agreed because she had a crush on Blaine, was denied. Though now she wouldn’t stop asking Blaine for Sebastian’s phone number. Kurt found it hilarious. 

Less than a week away from the trip, Kurt and Blaine were back at the Lima Bean, sitting across from a disgruntled Sebastian.

“You two are useless.”

“Hey we tried okay. It’s not our fault you rejected everyone I found. Don’t take it out on us,” Blaine defended.

Sebastian grumbled angrily, picking at the cardboard sleeve on his coffee cup.

“Look, we still have some time. I think if I ask Melissa one more time she will agree to meet with you,” Blaine attempted to comfort the boy.

“No he won’t like her either. This isn’t going to work. It was a stupid plan to begin with,” Kurt nagged.

“Unless you have a better idea, smartass, I’m out of options,” Sebastian pointed out.

Kurt let out a dry laugh. “Unless Blaine or I dressed in drag, you are never going to find a girl to go with you.”

Kurt was chuckling at his own joke before realizing the other boys weren’t laughing.

“What?” he watched as a devilish grin spread across Sebastian’s face. “Wait, are you insane? No. Hell to the no!” He turned to Blaine pleadingly.

To his surprise, and horror, Blaine had his ‘choreographing’ face on like he was planning something and staring right at Kurt.

“That’s not a terrible idea, Princess. You would have to-“

“Me? Why does it have to be me?” Kurt cried indignantly.

Sebastian looked at him pointedly. “Hmm, I wonder if it has something to do with your voice, or your face, or the fact that have your wardrobe is already all girls’ clothes.”

“Fashion has no gender! And this is stupid. You can’t stand me. Why the hell would you want to bring me to New York? Wouldn’t you rather take Blaine?” 

“Of course I’d rather take Blaine. At least he’s had a nice enough upbringing he would know how to handle himself in front of my parents. But he could never pass as a woman. Have you seen his eyebrows?”

Kurt glared at the large triangles of hair above his boyfriend’s eyes like the entire situation was their fault. Which in some ways one could argue it was.

“That’s what glue sticks are for. And liquid foundation. And plenty of concealer.” Kurt gave up that particular argument and looked back at the still smirking boy. “You know this is never going to work.”

He felt Blaine grab his hand gently. “We promised we would help him. And we really are out of options. Besides, it’s an all-expenses paid trip to New York City. It’ll be even better than Nationals because Seb’s parents will definitely take you out for fancy dinners and you won’t be spending your time in rehearsal so you can spend all the time you want exploring the city. Maybe you can even visit NYADA?”

All three boys knew Kurt was swaying towards agreeing. He just needed one final push.

“What if I have my dad’s friend send in a good word for you at NYADA? He just so happens to be the lawyer who defended Carmen Tibideaux when that crazy student tried to sue her for their vocal cords to hemorrhage. You would still have to kill the audition though. And good luck with that.” The last part was dripping with sarcasm.

Despite the lack of faith in his talent, Kurt was shocked by the offer. A recommendation from a friend of Sebastian’s father would be enough to make up for his lack of extracurriculars. Was it enough to convince Kurt to go along with this crazy plan?

“I’m not agreeing to anything yet. I have to see if I can even pull off looking like a girl before I even consider it,” Kurt said slowly, still not believing he had gotten himself into this position.

Blaine squealed, squeezing a hug around Kurt’s shoulders. “You’re just looking forward to being able to use your makeup kit for something other than the eyeliner for performances,” he joked to make the taller boy smile.

“Okay, let’s go.” Sebastian stood up.

“Go where?”

“To your place. Time to give you a sex change.”

…

A few months ago, if someone had told him that Sebastian Smythe would be in his room to help him dress in drag, Kurt… well, the idea was so bizarre that Kurt couldn’t even imagine what he would’ve done.

But sure enough there was Sebastian, smirking at his décor, picking up the framed pictures on his shelves, and nosily looking into Kurt’s closet before Blaine politely pulled him away and had him sit on the bed.

Sebastian sighed happily as he sat. “At least you got one thing right, Princess. This is my kind of bed,” he said running his fingers over the pillows. “Too bad it’s wasted with you two. This bed deserves to see some action.”

Both boys flushed remembering exactly how much action the bed saw the previous weekend while Burt and Carole were at the Capitol. Luckily Sebastian didn’t notice.

“So how exactly is this going to work? Despite your jokes, I don’t actually have any dresses in my closet.”

“Hummel, I’ve seen you wearing a skirt before,” Sebastian said with a side eye.

Kurt scowled. “Kilts. I don’t have any skirts, only kilts. Besides, I really don’t think those would work.”

“Just try to remember you’re not trying to dress up like a drag queen. Very few girls actually wear that many sequins. Don’t you just have jeans and sweaters or something? It’ll be too cold for dresses anyway,” Sebastian pointed out pretentiously.

With an annoyed sigh, Kurt disappeared into his vast closet for a few minutes. Blaine laughed when Sebastian leaned over to try to figure out where the boy disappeared to, (“Jesus, did he go to Narnia or something?”).

He emerged with an armful of clothes, laying them carefully on the empty side of the bed. He held up a red, thigh-length sweater he wore sophomore year with a pair of white pants. 

“This will probably fit me like regular sweater now, though it will make my shoulders look huge since my growth spurt,” he eyed it distastefully. 

Sebastian tried to voice his own opinion but the outfit was thrown to the side before he could. Blaine patted his shoulder. “Just let him do his thing. Kurt knows his clothes.” Sebastian rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut.

It was a long process, but Kurt was finally able to find a week’s worth of outfits he was content with. “I’ll double check them all with Britt later, but these should be fine. But this means I have to go shopping when we get to New York.”

“When we get to New York? I thought you hadn’t agreed to anything yet.” 

“Shut it, meerkat. You know what I meant.”

Kurt carefully folded his clothes and put the rejected ones back in his oversized closet while Blaine talked about the trip. Kurt was only half listening, but he could tell his boyfriend was getting excited by the conversation. 

“Mother adores this French place, Jean-Georges. They have Yellowfin Tuna Ribbons to die for. God, I would kill to move back to Paris.”

Unsurprisingly, Blaine was entranced by the boy comparing the two cities. But Kurt remained stoically unimpressed. Sebastian talked about Paris a lot. By now it was more annoying than exciting. Deciding to ignore the rest of the conversation, Kurt busied himself by pulling out his theatre make up supplies and laying the essentials out on his desk to contemplate.

“Kurt, did you hear that?” he heard Blaine ask excitedly.

He turned and raised an eyebrow.

“You guys are going to stay at the Palace Hotel! You can go shopping every day. And go see Broadway shows. This is awesome!” Blaine was actually gripping Kurt’s blankets in an attempt to calm himself.

As much as he wished otherwise, Kurt was impressed. And Blaine was right, the 5 star hotel was only a block over from 5th Avenue. But he would never admit it in front of Sebastian. He merely nodded that he had heard and turned back to his supplies.

“I still haven’t agreed to anything. And we still don’t even know if I am able to do this,” he pointed out before running across the hall to the bathroom to grab his vanity mirror. He adjusted it on his desk and turned on the lights built into the frame.

“I have faith in you, Princess,” Sebastian said in a monotone.

“God, stop calling me that. Try coming up with something new. Or are you already out of insults?”

“I can’t help that it’s fitting. Certainly better than Porcelain. Try all you want, you can’t hide your freckles from me.”

Kurt scoffed and focused on his makeup. Though he couldn’t help eyeing his freckles angrily as he slowly started applying liquid foundation.

“Don’t use too much. Need I repeat that you aren’t supposed to look like the drag Farah Fawcett from Scandals? Just use enough to cover your face and let the contouring do the rest,” Sebastian warned as Kurt started to pour another huge dollop of foundation onto his palette.

“And how do you know so much about makeup, Fievel?” Kurt asked warily as he dabbed his cheek with the sponge.

“Isn’t it amazing what you learn on drag Wednesdays?”

Both Blaine and Kurt stared at the boy like he had just squatted and laid an egg filled with peanut butter and chocolate.

“If you talk to them long enough they get you free drinks all night long. And I may or may not have gotten a blow job from Tina Turner’s brother in the bathroom.”

Kurt mimed gagging while Blaine blushed and looked away, completely scandalized by Sebastian’s crude language.

“Whatever. Do you want me to help?” Sebastian glared and reached out a hand for the sponge.

When he realized the boy wasn’t joking Kurt shrugged. Even if Sebastian was messing with him, none of his products could leave lasting damage and Blaine would never allow him to take a picture to use as blackmail. What’s the worst that could happen?

“Ugh we should have done your eyebrows first. They don’t even match,” Sebastian grumbled as he smoothed out the foundation.

“If you ever make fun of me for having a gay face or voice ever again, I will remind you of not only doing my makeup but of saying probably the gayest thing that has ever been said in my room.”

“That’s pretty reductive for you, isn’t it?” the boy smirked. “Blaine, could you grab the concealer?”

Blaine fumbled for the concealer stick, not able to take his eyes off Kurt. “You look like a ghost. I didn’t know it was possible for you to get any paler.” The other boys just laughed.

Half an hour later, Sebastian had finished contouring and highlighting Kurt’s face. Other than the eyes and lips, the boy looked remarkably feminine. 

Blaine let out a low whistle. “Maybe I am a little bi, because you’re gorgeous.”

Things were going fine until Sebastian started with the eyeliner. 

“Jesus, watch what you’re doing! That’s the third time you stabbed that thing in my eye!” Kurt cried, knocking the boy’s hand away from his face.

“Stop whining and shut up unless you want to do it yourself.”

“Fine, I will!” Kurt barked, snatching the stick out of the boy’s hand. 

The boy raised his hands in defeat, letting Kurt take over doing his own eyes. At least it was something he had done a million times before. After finishing with some mascara, Kurt grabbed a tube of lipstick.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Sebastian’s outburst caused Kurt to pause.

“God, what now?”

“We go through all this trouble with your face and eyes and you think nude lipstick is the way to go?”

“Sebastian, I may not wear makeup, but I know my colors. Bright red lipstick isn’t going to work,” Kurt said frustrated, turning back to open and apply the lipstick.

“Ugh, hold on you stubborn ass,” he reached over to grab a different shade of lipstick. 

Kurt rolled his eyes but looked and realized the pale pink color was actually better. “Oh, I forgot I had that.”

The boy smirked as he watched Kurt put the finishing touches to his makeup. They both looked over to Blaine who had been sitting quietly and watching the transformation with awe. 

“You look like you, but not like you at all. This is weird,” he said, eyebrows crinkling in confusion.

“Well, all we need now is a wig. Any ideas?” Sebastian announced, standing up and wiping makeup off his hands on the cloth Kurt offered.

Blaine shrugged, but Kurt cursed and almost facepalmed, stopping just short of touching his face and ruining his makeup. Sebastian looked over in confusion.

“I still have… Crap, hold on a second.” Kurt stood again to leave his room.

“Are you seriously attracted to him like this?” Sebastian asked curiously when they were alone.

“I am having very confused and conflicted feelings right now. I mean, I always said I would think he was hot wearing anything, but I never really thought it would include drag.”

“Well, you never know. Maybe this is the first step to an illustrious career for him,” the boy laughed at Blaine’s confused and slightly offended face. “Hey, I’m just stating facts. I know a lot of queens and Kurt isn’t half bad at this.”

Kurt came back, panting slightly from running down to the basement, carrying what looked to Blaine like a severed head for a few terrifying moments. He then realized it was a blond wig set on a white mannequin head. Kurt set it down on his desk and cleared away the makeup.

“I remembered I still had this from when Mr. Schue went insane and made us do a mash up of Hair and Crazy in Love. I stuck it in the basement with a bunch of old stuff from sophomore year.”

Sebastian eyed it like the wig personally offended him. “That disgusting old rag definitely will not work.”

Kurt huffed. “Imagine having to wear the damn thing. It was torture. Hot, itchy torture.” He set something else down next to the wig. “We can make it work,” he said, revealing scissors, a hairbrush, and a few hair styling supplies.

It actually surprised Sebastian how quickly Kurt had fixed the wig. No longer was it a bushy, ratty mess that had been flipped far too many times. Now it was an elegant, layered style that would come about to Kurt’s shoulders when he put it on. After enough products, it even lay flat like real hair.

Finally, the look was complete.

“It’ll do for now,” Sebastian admitted, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “I’d still rather buy you a real wig. And you will have to practice doing your own makeup. But otherwise, I think this will actually work.”

“I agree. The wig looks great, but it’s still made of plastic and won’t stay that way as long as real hair. Kurt, you actually look like a woman right now,” Blaine added helpfully.

“So are you in?” Sebastian asked, holding out a hand.

Kurt sighed, glancing around in an attempt to stall, only to meet Blaine’s gaze. With a smile and a nod from his boyfriend, Kurt found the courage to step forward and shake the boy’s hand.

“Excellent,” Sebastian smirked evilly.

…

The days until the trip seemed to just fly by, or at least they seemed to for Kurt. Though from his first try doing his own full make up he had it down completely, he still practiced every night before carefully washing it off and starting to double his moisturizing efforts to combat the negative effects. Sebastian had gotten a real wig that looked very similar to the one Kurt designed and brought it to him a few days before they were set to leave.

Kurt hadn’t been sure what he would tell his father, but Blaine ended up solving the issue by inviting Kurt to a fake summer-camp-but-in-spring retreat that he claimed a few of his buddies were going to in front of Burt. He could see that his dad looked a little suspicious, but after they called Sebastian to “make sure he still wanted to go” that Burt agreed.

“No funny business. I’ll know if you just go over to Blaine’s for that long just to… you know.”

Instead of the camping in spring that Kurt thought was the worst lie ever told, Blaine would be spending the time between visiting some of the Warblers he hadn’t seen in months and housesitting for Sebastian and his parents. Honestly the entire situation made no sense whatsoever for any of them.

Now-the day before they were set to leave-Kurt was in Blaine’s room, double checking both his makeup and his luggage. They would be leaving for Sebastian’s house in just a few minutes.

“Are you ready for this?” Blaine asked him, rubbing his shoulders gently.

“I don’t know. I guess I have to be,” Kurt murmured back.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I know I kind of helped Seb push you into this, but I’ll defend you with everything I have and more if you want to back out.”

Kurt smiled at his gentleman of a boyfriend. “Thank you, honey. I’ll be okay. I just can’t wait until we get to New York.

Blaine drove him over in his little Prius, holding his hand the whole time, and helped carry his bags to the door. For better or for worse, Kurt had to spend the night at Sebastian’s house so that they could all wake up early to drive to the airport together. 

Sebastian had warned him it would be hell until they got to the hotel in New York.

Blaine rang the doorbell, and moments later a tall, blonde woman was opening the door for them. 

“You must be Blaine and Ellen! I’m Adelaide, Sebastian’s mother. It’s wonderful to meet you!” she announced with a much too wide smile. Kurt saw the signs around her eyes and lips of having work done. “Please come in!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Smythe, I can’t stay. I was just giving K… er, Ellen a ride over. It was nice to meet you though,” Blaine apologized mannerly. He flashed Kurt a supportive smile, gripping his shoulder tightly for a second though clearly wishing he could do more to say goodbye. “Bye Ellen. Mrs. Smythe.”

Kurt watched Blaine walk away before awkwardly being ushered in by Sebastian’s mom. His bags found a place in the hall (“to be carried up by the maid to your room later”, what the hell?), and he followed Mrs. Smythe into what Kurt guessed was the sitting room.

In an uncomfortable looking armchair far from the window sat an older but attractive man, presumably Sebastian’s father, with light brown hair (it had to be dyed in an attempt to make him look younger, Kurt could see a few spots of gray at the roots) and a trimmed mustache and beard. He was reading a newspaper and smoking a cigar like a fifties stereotype.

On the couch Sebastian sat with a paperback book (Kurt recognized the author but not the title), not bothering to look up when Kurt walked in. 

Kurt wondered again how he had managed to be wrapped up in this nonsense.

“Make yourself at home. Would you like anything to drink? I’m going to go to the kitchen to grab George another beer,” Sebastian’s mother offered. Kurt declined.

George Smythe had looked up briefly at the sound of his name, nodded to Kurt, and then disappeared behind his newspaper once again. Feeling uneasy, Kurt lowered himself down to sit next to Sebastian on the very uncomfortable but expensive couch.

“Hey,” he murmured, trying to get his attention.

Sebastian, without looking away from his book, smirked and held up a finger, signaling Kurt to wait. Kurt huffed slightly but let the boy finish his paragraph and close the book gently.

“Hey, baby. Long time, no see,” Sebastian greeted.

Kurt wrinkled his nose at the endearment. It sounded strange coming from anyone but Blaine’s mouth. Mentally shaking himself, Kurt moved forward so that he could whisper in Sebastian’s ear. 

“Ellen? Really? I thought we had agreed to go with Elizabeth?” Kurt dug his bright orange nails into the boy’s arm since he couldn’t yell like he wanted to.

Sebastian smirked. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“No you didn’t, you just wanted to make a gay joke.”

Mrs. Smythe chose that moment to walk in with a small silver tray with three glasses of what looked like lemonade, a glass of beer, and small finger sandwiches.

“Fresh squeezed lemonade and cucumber sandwiches anyone?”

Kurt smiled and accepted a sandwich. 

“So, Ellen. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself? George and I have just been dying of curiosity since Sebastian told us you had started spending time with each other.”

Before Kurt could respond, he felt Sebastian shaking with laughter next to him and shot him a glare.

The boy turned to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I know I’m a terrible person.” He turned back to his mother, still holding Kurt close. “Her name isn’t actually Ellen. She hates it when I call her that.”

Still a little confused, Kurt decided to just go with it. It was an opportunity not to have to be called Ellen for the entire trip and he was excited to be able to test out his acting skills.

“I can’t believe you did that, you meanie-head,” Kurt fake-giggled, pinching Sebastian on the arm much harder than needed. “This is payback for what I did at the mall the other day, isn’t it?”

“Of course. You can’t ditch me at the froyo shop without some form of retribution,” Sebastian smirked back, tugging on his ear painfully.

Kurt turned back to Mrs. Smythe with a winning smile. “My name is Elizabeth. Seb just likes to give me a hard time. Boys will be boys.” Kurt shrugged in a ‘what can you do’ way.

“Sebastian,” was his mom’s weak attempt to sound chastising. “Well, I still want to know all about you. Sebastian only told us that you two met at that coffee shop in Lima?”

The boys had agreed to keep their backstory as close to the truth as possible, so it was easier to remember. They just wouldn’t mention the fact that they met by Sebastian flirting with Kurt’s boyfriend. Kurt looked over to see Mr. Smythe had lowered his newspaper slightly to overhear the conversation.

“It’s true. I went to the Lima Bean and found Blaine, whom I am friends with as we go to school together, and Sebastian sitting together. I decided to say hi to Blaine and was introduced to Sebastian,” Kurt began to explain.

“She, of course, hated me.” Kurt blinked, the pronoun still sounding odd being used to describe him. 

“But then I just kept running into him. It’s like he lived at the coffee shop just to torment me. But he paid for my coffee, and my friends’ coffee if I was with Rachel or Mercedes, and eventually I agreed to go out with him. Haven’t regretted it yet.” Kurt ended by lacing his fingers through Sebastian’s, pretending they held hands all the time.

Throughout the story, Sebastian’s parents hadn’t even attempted to hide their disapproval at the sound of Blaine’s name. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was because they knew the boy was gay or because saying he went to school with Blaine revealed that he went to public school. 

“That sounds nice,” was the only thing it seemed Mrs. Smythe could think of to say. 

Remembering the request had been for Kurt to tell them about himself, he tried to think of what to say first. But then Sebastian was tugging him by his hand onto his feet. 

“Come, Elizabeth. I want to give you the grand tour of the house,” he said passing his mother who seemed to have given up efforts at conversation. 

“Don’t forget dinner is at seven!” 

…

It was a brief tour for such a huge house. Sebastian wasn’t as talkative as usual, and Kurt wondered if it had something to do with his parents. He got the sense that the boy didn’t bring guests home often and Kurt figured he had just seen the reason.

He was not shown the pool, but did get to see the bedrooms (there were six!), the billiard room (which seemed more like a bar), the bathroom closest to the bedroom he would be staying in (though there were five, not including the changing rooms for the pool), and the music room. This ended up being where they stayed until dinner.

Kurt was a little surprised, but it seemed to be the room the boy was most comfortable in. 

“My parents never come in here,” was all he said when Kurt asked about it.

Kurt sat down at the piano to play a few scales and just mess around. He actually wouldn’t have minded if an impromptu duet broke out when he played the opening chords to a P!nk song, figuring the boy would have taste similar to Blaine’s, but he still seemed moody. Instead he randomly shuffled through some loose sheet music.

“You’re house is very nice. I can’t believe it’s even bigger than the Andersons’,” Kurt tried to get the boy out of his stupor. 

Sebastian gave a halfhearted smirk to make his sentence an innuendo, but otherwise remained impassive. “It’s nice. But you should’ve seen the place in Paris.”

Kurt rolled his eyes exasperatedly and decided not to try speaking again until they were called to dinner.

Dinner was unsurprisingly just as awkward as before. Now that both Mr. Smythe and Sebastian were silent, Kurt was left to try and find a common to talk about with Mrs. Smythe. For all the feminine qualities he was constantly being made fun of for, it seemed the woman was not interested in any of them.

She didn’t care about theater or music, had a personal stylist to dress her so she didn’t have to worry about fashion, and didn’t watch any of the shows Kurt watched. In return, Kurt had no idea how to talk about country clubs or local politics. 

At least the food was good.

By the end, Kurt was exhausted. All he wanted was to curl up in bed and call Blaine. But as Sebastian left him by his bedroom door, Kurt wondered if he should go talk to the boy instead. If Kurt had cared about him at all, he would’ve been worried about his extremely out of character behavior.

Figuring it was best to leave it alone, Kurt got ready for bed. He knew if he called Blaine that they would stay up all night talking, and he had to be up very early in the morning. Instead he sent his boyfriend a ‘goodnight, I love you’ text and settled in for bed.

…

The flight was amazing. Kurt had only dreamed about flying first class, yet here they were drinking orange juice out of champagne flutes in seats twice as big as the normal ones. 

Sebastian and Kurt sat in a different row than his parents. It had taken about twenty minutes, but the boy finally unthawed and teased Kurt throughout the flight. But even that couldn’t ruin the flight for Kurt. They watched a movie together, a crappy rom-com that he and Blaine hadn’t seen yet, occasionally commenting in the form of jibes either at the movie or at each other. The ending had Kurt tearing up, but even as Sebastian teased him Kurt thought the boy’s eyes looked a little watery.

Kurt would’ve been disappointed to leave the luxury of the plane if not for the sight of the town car waiting for them outside. Despite the roominess of their seats, it was still slightly cramped for four people, so Sebastian used it as an excuse to pull Kurt practically into his lap. He retaliated by pretending to rub the boy’s cheek fondly before scratching him.

By the time they reached the hotel, Kurt realized how ridiculous the situation really was. He hadn’t been prepared for how over the top a five star hotel would be. Just as he was daydreaming about everything he could order from room service, he saw Mr. Smythe hand Sebastian a key with a different room number on it. 

They were deposited into a suite, apparently all their own. Kurt couldn’t believe Sebastian’s parents not only approved a young couple sleeping together but actually encouraged it. Maybe Sebastian wasn’t as good at pretending to be straight as he thought he was if his parents were practically throwing him in bed with what they thought was a girl.

Kurt surveyed the suite, an elegantly decorated room with plush couches, a large flat-screen TV, and an adjoining space with a queen sized bed. 

“God, Sebastian. A girl could get used to living like this,” he said, sending the boy a wink before breaking out into a run and leaping onto the softest bed on Earth.

“You won’t get to if you keep acting like that.”

“Come on, I know you grew up around this stuff, but you can’t deny it’s amazing. Have you never felt this excited to be somewhere?” Kurt peeked out from the pile of pillows.

Sebastian didn’t answer, pursing his lips as if deep in thought. He seemed to shrug it off, grabbing a suitcase and starting to unpack into an exquisite antique wardrobe.

“Whatever, I am going to enjoy this, and you can’t stop me.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Princess,” the boy drawled.

…

Kurt couldn’t deny that he actually had a great time. They had spent the first few hours unpacking and then relaxing in their room. Sebastian stretched out on the longest couch, leaving Kurt to curl up comfortably in the loveseat. They had turned the TV on low to a random show that neither of them really liked and sat quietly.

Sebastian got bored pretty quickly, so he pulled out his laptop and started typing away. Kurt couldn’t deny his curiosity, but decided better of himself and chose to stare at the window. It wasn’t a perfect view, but they were high enough up that Kurt could see the amazingly tall buildings that surrounded them.

A small lunch was delivered after about an hour. Kurt devoured the Pancetta, avocado, and tomato sandwich with relish, but the boys continued to simply ignore each other.

After the adults had recuperated from the flight, the group went out together. This time they took a luxury SUV, but Sebastian still insisted on Kurt sitting as close to him as physically possible. He was about to complain when Mrs. Smythe asked him if he was up for a spa session.

It actually wasn’t as difficult to hide as he thought it would be. Pretending he was shy, Kurt was able to keep himself covered at all times, and he never let anyone touch his hair. It was definitely worth it for a mani-pedi and massage. 

They met back with Sebastian and his father for dinner at a nice restaurant (certainly the fanciest Kurt had been to in his entire life), and returned to the hotel. This turned out to be another hour of Sebastian typing away on his laptop and Kurt reading the newest issue of Vogue that Mrs. Smythe bought for him. Then the taller boy disappeared into the bathroom to shower. Kurt decided to call Blaine while he was gone.

Kurt gushed about the trip to his boyfriend, who commented excitedly and asked if he had ran into any celebrities or socialites yet. Kurt wanted to talk more, but regretfully said his goodbyes when Sebastian emerged in only a towel, not missing the boy rolling his eyes at Kurt’s “I love you, too.”

“God, could you put some fucking clothes on?” Kurt demanded as he put down his phone.

“Why should I?”

“It’s common decency, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you have none!”

“Fine,” Sebastian relented. Except then he dropped his towel as he grabbed a pair of underwear from the dresser, smirking evilly.

Kurt huffed and turned away, not letting the boy see his blush.

“Okay, Princess, you can stop blushing.”

Now that Sebastian was clothed in sweatpants and a lacrosse shirt from what Kurt assumed was the school he attended before Dalton, he scurried into the bathroom. He made a point of grabbing his pajamas before going into the bathroom.

“Jeez, what the hell took you so long? If you wanted the alone time to jerk off, you should’ve just said so,” Sebastian asked from the bed when he finally finished.

“Ew, what is wrong with you? I had to scrub off all my makeup. I refuse to let it clog my pores. I’m still pissed I had to buy new face cream to help counteract all the damage I’m doing to my skin,” Kurt ranted.

“I feel so terrible for you, Gaylinda.”

“Obviously,” he muttered, walking out to the couch. “You could’ve at least called to get some extra blankets and pillows if I’m going to be on the couch.”

“Why are you going to be on the couch?” Sebastian asked, sitting up against the headrest.

Kurt stared at him, thinking it was obvious. “You aren’t sleeping on the bed?”

“Of course I am.” Sebastian seemed to understand what Kurt was saying. “Fucking hell, Hummel. Are you really that much of a prude that we can’t share a bed?”

Kurt was shocked. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to,” he admitted.

“And since when has that mattered to you? Just get over yourself, Princess. It’s a queen size. Plenty of room.”

“Whatever,” Kurt scoffed, climbing into the bed and under the covers.

They went to sleep without speaking again.

…

The next two days went by in a similar fashion. Fine dining and spa treatments along with some of the best shopping trips Kurt had ever experienced (not only did Sebastian’s parents buy anything he wanted, it was all shipped back to the hotel so he didn’t have to carry a thing,) helped pass the time when they weren’t relaxing in their hotel room. 

Their fourth night in the city, they went to an amazing French restaurant, apparently Sebastian’s favorite outside of France. The pompous ass ordered in French, and though Kurt knew it was to flirt with their attractive French waiter he just had to outdo the boy. He not only ordered in French, but struck up a conversation with the waiter, asking where he was from (Bordeaux) and how long he had lived in New York (3 years).

When the waiter left to get back to work, Sebastian shot him a nasty insult that actually made Kurt’s jaw drop. He glanced to Sebastian’s parents, but they were ignoring them completely.

“Ils ne parlent pas français,” Sebastian informed him.

It didn’t make sense for his parents not to speak French if they had lived in Paris, but Kurt didn’t complain. In fact, Kurt sent back an equally scathing insult in  
regard to the boy’s intelligence and they spent the rest of the night insulting each other in rapid fire French. If he hadn’t been having so much fun, Kurt might’ve been impressed with the Sebastian’s quick wit and his knowledge of the language. Both boys were easily better than anyone in Kurt’s French class, including the teacher.

The sleeping arrangement wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that behind closed doors the boys simply ignored each other. It was definitely preferable to having to pretend to be head over heels in love with the boy when his parents were around.

Kurt had gotten into the habit of walking down to the lobby before calling Blaine, finding more privacy in the large room with only a few strangers. This way he could spend an hour or two on the phone without bothering or being made fun of by Sebastian.

All in all, Kurt was having the time of his life.

On the fifth day, the boys were informed that they would be separating for the day. Kurt’s eyes seemed to double in size when Sebastian was handed tickets to Wicked for orchestra seats. Apparently Sebastian’s parents weren’t fans of Broadway, and had made plans to go yachting.

“We are used to this boy whining about wanting to go see those silly shows, but when he told us you liked them too, we figured you two could go together,” Mr. Smythe said gruffly. While offended for the sake of Broadway being called silly shows, Kurt was just shocked that man was actually speaking.

“Thanks for that, dickhead,” Sebastian muttered under his breath.

They escaped quickly after that, choosing to walk the few blocks to the theater. 

The musical was amazing, especially from second row seats. Drinks were served to them during intermission and both boys cried their way through curtain call. Sebastian also managed to talk his way into getting them back stage. They were only able to meet the actress playing Elphaba, but they took pictures and had their playbills signed. Kurt started crying again.

He expected to be led back to the hotel after they finished for a late lunch, but instead Sebastian turned to him, eyes still red but full of excitement.

“Any chance I could talk you into seeing Phantom tonight?” he said slyly.

Kurt just nodded dazedly and followed the boy like a puppy to the ticket office to see if there were seats available. 

“So what should we do for lunch?” Kurt asked, clutching his ticket carefully to his chest.

“It’s a bit of a walk, but we could go to the Stardust diner?”

“Isn’t that the one with the singing waiters?” Kurt asked.

“Yup.”

Kurt stared at him for a moment. “Okay, seriously, who are you?”

Sebastian just smirked and led him down the street.

…

Kurt was prepared to call their trip the best experience of his life until the sixth night in the city. 

The boys had yet to rip out each other’s throats, Kurt actually enjoying Sebastian’s company on a few occasions, especially since neither of his parents were very fun to spend time with. It also helped that the banter between the two when they were alone always managed to put Sebastian in a good mood, which in turn put Kurt in a good mood. He hated dealing with sulky Sebastian whenever his parents said something particularly hurtful.

After dinner, they were once again relaxing in their hotel room when Sebastian stood suddenly and disappeared into the bathroom. Kurt was a little confused when he didn’t hear the shower start, but kept his eyes on the TV, planning to finish the last few minutes of the show before heading downstairs to call Blaine.

However, when he turned to see Sebastian in the room, wearing some new clothes he had bought at Bergdorf earlier that day and styling his hair up, Kurt forgot all his plans.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, leaving the TV to march over to the boy.

“I’m getting ready.”

“Ready for what? Come on, Meerkat, don’t make me drag it out of you. It will only piss us both off.”

“Remember that gay club we passed on 42nd that my father couldn’t even drive past without a scathing comment? I decided I wanted to go check it out. And any others I can find,” Sebastian relented, not looking away from the mirror.

“Are you insane? You want to go clubbing, by yourself, in New York City. You’re only seventeen! Just because a shitty gay bar in Lima lets you in with a fake I.D. doesn’t mean you can get away with that here.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “If you have enough money, anything is possible,” he said cockily, meeting Kurt’s gaze through the mirror and shooting him a smirk.

“Still, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you wander the city alone at night.”

“Aw, are you worried about me, Princess?”

Kurt scoffed. “If you leave, I’ll tell your parents.”

Sebastian glared at him.

“You think I’m kidding, Sebastian? You have no idea what could happen. In fact, I have no idea what could happen! If you go alone you are going to get yourself killed.”

“If you wanted to come, you should’ve just asked,” the boy winked.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Kurt was stunned. Going to a gay club with Sebastian. Wait, was he actually considering this?

“You’ll have to find some boy clothes to wear though. I definitely don’t want to bring a girl there,” Sebastian pointed out.

Kurt stuck his tongue out at the boy. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. Fine, let me wear that Michael Bastian shirt and I can make this work,” he said, pulling out red pants out of one of his many shopping bags.

“Whatever. But I’m leaving in twenty, whether you are ready or not. So hurry your ass up.”

…

It was a surreal experience. In thirty minutes (Sebastian managed not to throw a fit) Kurt had managed to pull together a great outfit, wash off all his makeup, restyle his hair, and send Blaine a text saying he would have to miss calling him that night with a promise to explain it all tomorrow.

“Shouldn’t we tell your parents we’re leaving?” Kurt asked as Sebastian closed the door behind them.

“Do you honestly think they give a shit? They probably wouldn’t even notice if I was still gone in the morning. They’d just go home without me,” the boy didn’t bother trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Kurt chose not to comment on this, and led them out of the hotel and into a taxi. It was a short but tense ride to the club.

It was late enough that the club, named with a penis innuendo, already had a line of people waiting to get in. The large, heavily muscled bouncer was efficiently checking I.D.s and ushering people in with an expressionless face.

“This is insane. It’s not going to work.”

“Here,” Kurt felt Sebastian slip something into his hand. It was a driver’s license. “This one will work a little better for you.”

This time it was an Ohio license, instead of Hawaii, and stated that Kurt had just turned 21 the previous month. It took Kurt a few seconds to notice the picture used was taken from his Facebook and was not only a flattering picture that he actually liked but also made him look older than he was.

“Oh, wow. That’s…”

“Ye of little faith,” Sebastian whispered into his ear as they moved to get in line.

“Ugh, please don’t bible quote me. It’s annoying enough when Quinn does it. It’s just weird when the devil himself does it,” Kurt bantered.

“Don’t get your panties twisted up too tightly, Princess, or that Prince Charming of yours back home will never get them off of you.”

They went back and forth like this for a while, occasionally drawing the attention of their neighbors who laughed at their antics. When they finally reached the front of the line, Kurt thought he was going to throw up on the burly man as he handed over his fake I.D. The man gestured them in, and that was that.

“Jesus, I can’t believe I’m in a gay club in New York City,” Kurt gasped, taking in the darkened room teeming with writhing, muscled bodies dancing in time with the colored lights and pulsing music that almost deafened him.

“It’s like a wet dream come true, isn’t it?” Sebastian shouted back.

They shouldered their way through the crowd to the bar. Sebastian’s eyes roamed appreciatively over several of the men they walked past, many of whom were shirtless or near enough.

“Should I get you a Shirley Temple?” Sebastian asked teasingly.

“No, I’ve actually always wanted to try a Long Island Iced Tea,” he replied, looking pointedly at the bartender, who seemed to be wearing only suspenders and a jock strap.

“Okay, but I’m not carrying you back to our room when you pass out.”

They grabbed their drinks and moved to an open table, watching the people out on the dance floor. Someone from the next table leaned over and started flirting with Sebastian, effectively leaving Kurt to sip on his drink quietly.

He actually didn’t mind. He was still easing himself into the energetic atmosphere, and though he wouldn’t tell Blaine, there were quite a few good looking men for Kurt to stare at.

Kurt had almost finished his drink when Sebastian stood and grabbed his shoulder. “Mark and I are going to go dance,” he smirked before following the man he had been talking to out onto the dance floor.

“Can I buy you another?” A voice asked.

The man who had previously been sitting with Mark was leaning over onto his table, smiling at him. Kurt hesitantly agreed, but watched the man carefully to make sure nothing was slipped into the drink. They sat long enough for Kurt to finish the second drink when Sebastian and Mark stumbled over.

“Ethan, I missed you!” The obviously wasted man screeched before flinging his arms around Kurt’s new companion.

“He’s no fun to dance with. Come dance with me, Princess,” Sebastian urged, coming up behind Kurt to murmur in his ear.

“What, no. Go find some other boy toy to dance with.” Kurt pushed the boy off when his hands started wandering up his arms.

“If you dance with me, I’ll let you have the Brooks Brothers jacket that matches the one you bought Blaine,” Sebastian said enticingly. 

It was enough to convince Kurt. He stood to follow Sebastian, only to grab the boy’s shoulders for support when the world seemed to tip over.

“You okay, Princess?”

The alcohol seemed to have hit Kurt faster than he thought it would. Sebastian seemed to realize this at the same time as he looked at the two empty glasses on the table.

“Shit, you’ve had two already? You’re just knocking them back. Jesus, I can’t leave you alone for even a second,” he complained, helping the boy find his balance before leading him out to the dance floor.

Other than that one night at Scandals with Blaine, Kurt had never actually grinded on other people before. Now, in a tangled mess of limbs and bodies, Kurt had men grinding on him from all sides. He turned his back to Sebastian, not complaining when the boy curled his arms around his chest protectively. Soon, an attractive blond man, shorter than Kurt but obviously older, was gripping his hips tightly and sandwiching Kurt between him and Sebastian.

It was amazing, the freeing feeling of being jammed between sweaty, hot bodies. The beat of the music and the buzz of the alcohol worked together to help Kurt lose his inhibitions and just enjoy the dance.

Kurt heard a strange smacking sound at his ear and opened his eyes to see Sebastian and the man making out over his shoulder. He knew he should be annoyed, or even worried that Sebastian would catch something from swapping spit with random strangers, but he found it was pretty easy to ignore. 

But when the man turned to try and connect his lips to Kurt, he pushed him off, leaning back into Sebastian.

“Tease,” the man whispered leaning in again only to be pushed off again by Sebastian. “What the fuck, man. You not gonna let your boyfriend kiss me?”

“No. Now get the fuck off of him. And next time, listen when someone says no.” Sebastian grabbed his arm and led him away from the still furious man. 

“Thank you,” he told the boy when they got to the bar.

“We wouldn’t want someone taking your virtue before our Blainers has a chance, now would we?” Sebastian smirked, thanking the bartender when he was given another beer.

“Oh, my virtue has been taken. Many times. Many, many, many, many… plus that one time at the park…”

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. “Someone is going to be a sloppy drunk. I can’t wait to see what I can get you to tell me tonight.”

Kurt stuck out his tongue at the boy. “Try me,” he challenged. “I won’t tell you anything.”

The taller boy just smirked and took a drink.

…

Somehow the boys managed to make it back to the hotel in one piece, which was a surprise since Sebastian ended up about as tipsy as Kurt, and Kurt had snuck a few sips of beer when Sebastian was distracted. 

The cabdriver eyed them warily as they tripped over each other laughing like idiots as they climbed out of the cab, but seemed to shrug it off, happy that he had gotten paid.

When they made it back to their room, Sebastian collapsed face first onto the couch, rolling over onto his back to get more comfortable. He let out a loud oomph when Kurt tried to sit next to him but ended up in a heap on the boy’s chest.

“How can you be so heavy?” Sebastian wheezed. “Seriously, move. I can’t breathe.” He pushed Kurt over enough so they could sit next to each other, Kurt still practically in his lap.

Losing all sense, Kurt snuggled into Sebastian’s neck, feeling the boy hook his chin over his shoulder comfortably. It was nice being wrapped in such long arms. Kurt loved snuggling Blaine, but he was just so small.

Kurt started giggling to himself. Sebastian made a questioning noise, but Kurt shook his head and buried his nose deeper into the boy’s neck.

“You know, when you’re not being a huge asshole, you’re actually pretty fun to hang out with,” Kurt admitted, toying with the hem of Sebastian’s shirt.

“And you’re actually tolerable when you’re not being a prissy bitch.” Sebastian yelped when Kurt smacked his stomach.

“Dick,” Kurt smiled.

“Let’s play twenty questions.”

“Why?” 

“Come on, I want to do something. I’m not letting you fall asleep until you’ve sobered up enough I know you won’t puke in the bed,” Sebastian pointed out.

“I’m not going to get sick. I’m not even that drunk,” Kurt insisted, his slurred words proving the opposite.

“Uh huh, tell that to the poor guy you almost fell on when you tried to call the cab.”

“Fine, I’ll play your stupid game. But I get to go first.”

“Deal.” Sebastian reclined a little more into the couch, gravity pushing their chests together.

“Why did you stop that guy from kissing me? And don’t spit out some lame bullshit about my virtue. If we are playing, we have to be honest,” Kurt pushed.

“It wasn’t bullshit. Whether you were a virgin or not, I know you’re not the cheating type. I learned that first hand,” Sebastian explained.

Kurt was a little shocked. “So you didn’t get me drunk to take advantage of you?”

“That’s two. And no, I would never do that. I’ll admit you’re hot, but I’m not desperate enough to force someone. I’m not into that.”

“You think I’m hot?”

“Uh uh, it’s my turn now,” Sebastian chastised. “Who bottoms, you or the hobbit?”

Kurt blushed, immediately regretting agreeing to play this game with Sebastian.

“Hey, you made me promise honesty. Now you have to tell me the truth.” Kurt squirmed when Sebastian started poking his ribs.

“Ugh, I hate you. Fine, we take turns. But it usually ends up being Blaine.

“Wow, you two constantly surprise me. Who’s bigger?”

Kurt paused, confused. “Me, obviously. You just called Blaine a hobbit, don’t you know this?” Sebastian looked at him judgmentally for a few moments until the light bulb appeared over his head. “Oh! Oh, um, we haven’t actually measured but… I, I guess Blaine is thicker but I’m longer?” he stuttered.

Sebastian smirked lewdly. “Hot.”

“Shut up. It’s my turn. How many people have you slept with?”

Sebastian scrunched up his nose in thought. “Five. If you count hand jobs.”

“Five?” Kurt said incredulously, pulling out of the boy’s arms. “Ew, Sebastian, you’re sixteen! How is that even possible? Please tell me they weren’t all at Scandals. I’ll probably catch something just touching you.”

He shrugged. “Actually none of them were at Scandals. Two guys at Dalton, two when I was in Paris, and one before that, at his house when his parents were gone.” Kurt wanted to know more, but knew he should wait for his turn. “Favorite position?”

Kurt didn’t blush this time, determined to stand up to Sebastian. “I like it when Blaine rides me. Though to be fair we haven’t gotten to try very many yet. What was your first time like?”

“It was rushed hand jobs in a fifteen year old’s bedroom. I didn’t even last five minutes. But that was right before I moved, so I never got to see him again. Not that I was complaining. French guys are so much hotter and way more experienced,” he smirked. “Kinkiest thing you’ve done with Blaine. Or that you want to do.”

“Well, right now it would probably be that time w… when I, um, rimmed Blaine. But we have discussed using a few of my scarves for… other than their intended use. In bed,” Kurt stuck his tongue out at the smarmy weasel. “If you have such a boner for Paris, why did you ever leave?”

The smirk dropped from Sebastian’s face. “I was only in France four months. It was a special program for International Affairs, politics, business, and the like. It was supposed to last six months, and I picked Paris because I had always wanted to go ever since Mother told me about her year abroad.”

“Did you get kicked out for mouthing off or something?” Kurt hated the sullen look on the boy’s face. It didn’t belong there.

“Father found out I had been spending more time around the city than in the program seminars.”

“Ah, that’s where those two boys come in, right?” Kurt waggled his eyebrows.

“Sort of. I met Acel in a café. He was the one to put a shot of Courvoisier in my coffee and get me hooked. He took me to a writing club he was in and we ended up dating.”

“Writing? Wait, dating?”

“I was at the café attempting to write. He saw my notebook and took it upon himself to mentor me. He was very charming. Actually, Blaine reminds me a lot of him.”

Kurt stayed silent, watching the wistful, and still surprisingly drunk boy carefully.

“He introduced me to Ross, an American college student who had just decided to move to Paris. He also introduced me to the beauty of ménage à trois,” Sebastian smiled, a genuine smile that worried Kurt more than his smirks. “But when Father found out I was ditching the program to write silly stories, he pulled me back to Ohio kicking and screaming.”

“Because we all know writing is so much worse than having gay threesomes.”

Kurt wondered if that was what Sebastian was doing on his laptop all the time. He definitely didn’t peg the boy as a writer. Not that he even cared.

“I have to grow up and be Daddy’s perfect little robot. I’ll go to Yale and become a lawyer or a senator, or something terrible like that. I’ll marry a blonde bimbo with huge breasts and have 2.5 kids, and live in a huge house far enough from Westerville so that I only have to see my parents for Christmas. Dream come true,” Sebastian spat venomously.

Suddenly the night was nothing like Kurt expected it to be. Having a heart to heart conversation with the guy who had tried to sleep with his boyfriend in one of the fanciest hotels in New York City.

“You’re never going to come out to your parents?” Kurt asked hesitantly.

“I can’t. They would disown me. And it’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I? You’ve been around my family for less than a week. How do you think they would react to their son being gay?” Sebastian growled.

Kurt thought about Sebastian’s father cursing a gay couple they saw walking down the street on their way to dinner one night. He thought about his mother glaring at their flamboyantly gay assistant on a shopping trip whenever the man’s back was turned.

“You never know until it happens. You’ve seen my dad. He doesn’t look like a guy who would approve of having a gay son let alone become a congressman just to try to make life better for him. I didn’t come out until my sophomore year, but after I did I had no idea why I didn’t do it before.”

“Must be nice.”

“It is,” Kurt admitted. 

Sebastian didn’t respond, staring at his fingers as they brushed anxiously over his knee.

“It’s your turn,” Kurt whispered.

“What? Oh, yeah.” The boy blinked and shook himself. “Why did you go back to McKinley after everything that happened to you there?”

Kurt balked for a moment at the non-sexual question, but decided to answer anyway. “I missed my friends like crazy. Say what you want about the New Directions, they have a tendency to burrow their way into your heart.” He paused for a moment. “As nice as it was, I never belonged at Dalton.”

Sebastian nodded, still not looking at Kurt.

“My turn. If you could do anything, without worrying about your parents or money or any of that, what would you want to do?”

“Fuck you,” Sebastian answered, flipping the boy off.

“I’m serious. I know you’ve thought about it. It’s not like it’d be any worse than what we’ve already talked about.” He grabbed his hand. “I know we hate each other, but you can trust me.”

“Do we really hate each other?”

“Well, maybe not anymore.”

Sebastian sighed heavily, but gripped Kurt’s hand tighter. “If I could do anything I wanted, I would get a nice apartment in Paris, near the Seine. I’d take writing classes at American University and get a job writing for the school or something. I don’t know. Fuck, Kurt, I don’t know!”

“You called me Kurt.”

“Fuck off,” the boy said, pushing Kurt the rest of the way off of him and standing.

“Where are you going?” Kurt asked.

“I’m going to bed. I’ve sobered up too much for this.”

After storming over to bed, Sebastian whipped off his shirt and pants, leaving them in a heap on the ground, and crawled into bed in his underwear. 

Telling himself it was for the best, Kurt left the boy and went to the bathroom to shower. By the time he was out, Sebastian had already fallen asleep or was really good at pretending. Kurt crawled in next to him, not able to stop thinking of ways he could help the boy.

…

Their last day in New York was quiet. Sebastian was still silently fuming after their previous conversation, and Kurt was reluctant to be the first to break the silence. His parents seemed to notice the tension and decided to ignore them completely rather than ask what was wrong.

It was when they were alone on the plane being served a steak dinner that Kurt snapped.

“So what exactly do you plan to tell your parents about me when we get back to Ohio? I know for a fact that your mother likes me. You know as well as I do that if you keep ignoring me she will start nagging about bringing me to the house for dinner and such. You can’t keep doing this, we’re in too deep.”

Sebastian seemed to break as well. “You know what, Hummel? You’ve already made my life a living hell for way too long. I’m not putting up with your stuck up, prissy bitchface any longer. We had a fight last night and broke up. End of story. End of me ever having to deal with you ever again. Now leave me alone!”

Kurt’s jaw dropped at the declaration. He knew he should take advantage of Sebastian’s decision. Choosing to never see or talk to Kurt again would subsequently force him to stop his pursuit of Blaine. It was everything he had wanted before this trip.

But he was telling the truth before. They were in too deep.

“Jesus, Sebastian. I’m not forcing you to come out. I’m not playing devil’s advocate and convincing you to forget your father and turn into some book-writing hippie. All I did last night was offer you someone to talk to. To offer support. Besides your head is so far up your ass I could never convince you to do anything you didn’t want to.”

Sebastian huffed and turned away from Kurt, obstinately refusing to even look at him.

“You know, you’re so full of shit. I see right through you. You pretend to be some adventurous, experienced, confident guy but really you are just a coward, scared shitless by your father and the idea of choosing your own future. But guess what, I don’t give a shit anymore. You want to pretend I don’t exist? Fine. I won’t lose any sleep over you. But if you grow some balls and decide you want to ask for help, you know where to find me.”

With that Kurt put on his headphones and pretended to take a nap.

…

Fortunately, Kurt had been able to call Blaine and have him pick him up from the airport to avoid having to spend any more time with the Smythe family. Apparently feeling sorry for Kurt, Sebastian’s father had reimbursed Blaine for the gas it took to drive all the way to Columbus.

Blaine had brought him a change of clothes and multiple cleansing products so that Kurt could turn back into himself on the ride home. It was quiet. Kurt was still sore from the fight with Sebastian, and he had to prepare himself to tell Blaine everything that had happened since they went to that stupid gay club.

His boyfriend never pushed him to talk, so Kurt was able to wait until they got back to his house and had finished talking to Burt, Finn, and Carole, ducking his family’s questions with the excuse of being dreadfully tired. He curled up next to Blaine in bed, not able to look the boy in the face as he told him what had happened.

“And I know I should still hate him, after everything he has done to you, to us, but I don’t know, Blaine. I could feel his pain. He is struggling, and he doesn’t have anybody else to help him. Wouldn’t it be wrong for me to just leave him suffering?” He asked earnestly, unsure of how Blaine would respond.

The boy was quiet for a moment before speaking slowly. “You of all people know that it is impossible to help him if he doesn’t want our help.”

“So I should just give up and try to forget about it all?”

“No, I’m not saying that. It’s just there’s not much we can do unless he reaches out to us first. But you told him you would be there for him if he needed it. I can tell him the same thing. And hopefully if he realizes that he needs help, he will come find us.”

Kurt sighed and buried himself in Blaine’s neck and inhaling deeply. He had missed his boyfriend’s smell. And his arms. And his eyes. Well, he had missed everything about Blaine. They hadn’t spent a week without each other since Blaine transferred to McKinley.

“If you would be comfortable with it, I could start talking to him again, maybe go for coffee with him,” Blaine suggested after a few minutes of soaking in each other.

“Yeah, maybe. It’s a start at least.”

…

Unsurprisingly, things weren’t as easy as they hoped. 

Sebastian had ignored all of Blaine’s texts and calls. They never ran into him at the Lima Bean anymore. Kurt had tried going to Scandals with his new fake I.D. but was told Sebastian hadn’t been there since before their trip. Even when Blaine had tried asking Trent how Sebastian was doing at school, the boy responded confusedly that he was the same as always.

They were frustrated, but afraid of pushing Sebastian too far, especially since he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid them. Blaine had thought about asking Santana to try talking to the boy, figuring her unique way of talking to people might get through to Sebastian better than they could. Kurt dismissed the idea quickly knowing that neither party would be willing or happy with that scenario.

Kurt and Blaine had even asked his father for advice. Burt sagely told them what they already knew, that they should wait until Sebastian could at least talk to them, let alone ask them for help or advice.

Eventually, they gave up and metaphorically settled in to wait for Sebastian. They wouldn’t actively seek him out, but if the boy reached out to either of them that they would help immediately. The problem was, the next time Sebastian talked to them, he wasn’t asking for help.

They were sitting at the coffee shop after their weekly date with Mercedes after the girl had left. They were happily discussing Kurt’s NYADA audition (even if it was still weeks away, he had started practicing Music of the Night as often as possible), when they were interrupted by a hand slamming on the table. 

Sebastian was standing over them, glowering like the boys had ran over his cat.

“Sebastian?” Blaine asked tentatively after waiting a few moments for the boy to talk.

Instead of screaming like Kurt half expected, Sebastian’s face crumpled and he slumped into the empty seat at their table. He buried his face in his hands before looking up to glare at Kurt again.

“Mother knows,” he said bluntly.

Kurt jumped. “Knows what?”

The boy groaned. “Everything. She knows everything.”

“How? How did that happen? I mean, were you…?” Blaine left the word disowned unsaid but acknowledged by all three of them.

When Sebastian was silent Kurt placed a gentle hand on his arm to prompt him.

“She asked me. About a week after we got back home she decided to take me out to dinner. I knew something was wrong because we never go out alone except when she has bad news for me. She always waits until after we’ve finished eating, and she just came right out and asked me if I was gay. Well, she asked if I was homosexual like it’s the 50’s or something.”

“And you told her?” Kurt asked.

“I wasn’t going to. I asked why she would think something like that. Apparently she knew you weren’t a girl. Something about a worker at the spa you guys went to seeing something but not wanting to cause a scene. But we are very good actors because she thought we were actually dating. That’s a plus.

“I opened my mouth to deny everything, but instead I started spilling the truth. I couldn’t even control it. And I blame you, Hummel. This is all your fault,” Sebastian pointed his finger at the boy.

“How in the hell is this my fault? You just said I was a good actor. Only one spa worker knew what was going on and she probably just caught me changing. You can’t blame me for this!”

“It’s you who filled my head with this telling the truth nonsense! I was perfectly fine until you came along, but now I’m wondering what it would be like. And it’s bullshit. You’re just fucking with my head!”

“Sebastian, people are starting to stare at you,” Blaine warned in a whisper, trying to calm him.

Sebastian took a deep breath and looked away from them.

“Did she tell your father?” Kurt asked quietly.

Sebastian sniffed. “No. At least not yet. She said she wouldn’t, but I’m not sure I believe her.”

“Why not?”

“I’m starting to think it will have to come out eventually now,” Sebastian admitted. “But I don’t want to think about that. Even if my mother is willing to ignore it, I’m not ready to find out what my father will do.”

The boys were all quiet as they processed everything.

“You could have come to us you know,” Blaine said softly. “I know it’s hard to believe, but we know how difficult this stuff can be. We are here for you.”

The boy looked down to wear both Kurt and Blaine were both touching his arm lightly. His eyes were wet and he blinked hard.

“Yeah, I think I know. I just couldn’t…”

“I get it. I know firsthand how difficult it is to ask for help,” Kurt said.

“Yeah, thanks, Kurt. Blaine.”

“Anytime.”

…

It still took time, but slowly Sebastian started opening up to the boys. They invited him out occasionally, eventually introducing him warily to their friends. It honestly terrified Kurt how well he and Santana got along, but he hoped graduation would keep them from doing anything catastrophic.

After coming out to his mother, Sebastian was too terrified to ask his father to give Kurt’s recommendation at NYADA. The boy didn’t mind though, understanding Seb’s predicament and confident that his impromptu decision to sing Boy Next Door would get him in. When Kurt received his rejection letter, everyone was shocked Sebastian almost exploded, saying nasty curses on the school and Carmen Tibbideaux in French. Though the display of anger was slightly worrying, Kurt appreciated that he really did care.

Somehow the meerkat was invited to the New Direction’s graduation party. Unfortunately this resulted in Sebastian getting wasted on the whiskey Puck smuggled in and confessing what had happened to everyone in the group. When some of his friends refused to believe him and got angry, Kurt had to admit that, yes, he really did dress in drag and pretend to date his worst enemy.

The good news was, Sebastian was actually an amazing friend. He helped Blaine convince Kurt to move to New York with Rachel and start a life with or without NYADA. Still regretting his failure at helping him into college, Sebastian managed to get Kurt an interview for an internship at Vogue.com, which Kurt was surprised to get without any bribery whatsoever from the Smythe family.

Now that he was so far away, Kurt was glad that Blaine had Sebastian for support. The two boys had been hanging out more, and though Kurt was still slightly jealous and possessive of his boyfriend, he knew that Sebastian would never do anything to hurt Kurt and that Blaine needed the boy’s comfort, especially when the internship kept Kurt busy for days at a time.

It all seemed like a dream come true. The journey had been one of the weirdest Kurt had ever encountered, but he wouldn’t change it for anything.


End file.
